After fighting cancer for 6 years, last October my youngest child Violet died.
Several years ago, after almost burning out I realised not to ‘live for work’ but to ‘work to live’, the last 6 years have been closer to ‘work to get by’. As such, work has taken the very back seat, I’ve taken whatever leave I can and done what’s been needed to get paid. I’ve been very tactical in my approach; I’ve been brutal at prioritising and leveraging others. Unfortunately, this has left some of you in tough circumstances.
To my peers who have stepped in, backed me up, picked up my customers. Some of you to the point of burn out. Sorry.
To my customers, sorry for the slow replies or slipped deliveries.
To my managers, sorry for being unreliable and my greater levels of cynicism on processes and metrics.
I am sorry for all of this, but I am not sorry I was able to be where I needed to be, with those I needed to be with.
I also can’t apologise without also being deeply grateful.
Thank you to my HR manager, for checking in and showing care over the years, not just for me but for my whole family. For over 6 years. Thank you for making me aware of policies and leave that was available to support me.
Thank you to my peers, for stepping in too many times to count. Picking up where I left things. Thank you for telling me to forget about work and focus on what’s important.
To my managers, thank you for protecting me, logging exceptions, approving leave, supporting my peers, making sure I’m really ok to return to work.
Thank you, colleagues who asked how I really was, the coffees, hallway chats, slipping me cash and passing on condolences.
Thank you to the customers showing compassion, inquiring beyond my generic “I have a chronically sick child, so have regular time off work” response. Thank you for occasionally checking in and passing on your well wishes.
To Microsoft, thank you. I might get cynical about the volume of systems, policies, and metrics; but over the years you’ve changed. Family Caregiver Policy, Pandemic Leave, Wellness Leave, buying back leave, EAP, exception processes and more; all of this has helped protect me and my family.
So now I’m back, returning to work for the nth time over the years. Eager to rebuild a career and relationships, but consciously evaluating where I’m at because I’ve learnt grief effects everyone differently. Please don’t feel weird or afraid to verbalise your condolences for Violet. Although her time with us was short, she’ll never be forgotten. She was wise beyond her years, her love and empathy and resilience were an inspiration to all who had the pleasure to know her.
Orginally posted on LinkedIn